This past weekend in the Hamptons was... interesting, to say the least. Some friends and I decided to rent a 'house share' for 4th of July weekend. A house share involves multiple groups and individuals that rent a big house to share. (Think adult co-ed frat house.) Shares are quite common in the Hamptons and I was thrilled to find one at the last minute. I met the woman who arranged the rental. She is about my age, has a grown-up job at S&P, and seemed to be mature and fun. In addition to me and my three friends, she informed me that the house would be occupied by her and her friend, as well as a few of their cute guy friends. Perfect!

When my friends and I arrived, we caught a glimpse of the hotties, who were headed out to the store. We briefly introduced ourselves before they left. Little did we know, that would be our only interaction with them. The next time we saw them is when they came to pick up their stuff after getting kicked out by a psycho, naked, evil munchkin. (I'll explain later.)

The four of us were led to our room and were shocked to find only three small twin beds (one of which was an air mattress) crammed into a tiny room.
Me: Umm... I thought you said the room had FOUR beds.
Lady: Yeah but I gave that room to the guys 'cuz there's more of them coming than I had thought.
Me: Well I paid for that room, so either you need to refund the money or give us adequate accommodation.
Lady: Okay, I'll just tell the boys to switch rooms since they have only three tonight. Plus, they haven't even paid me yet.

What a moron! I thought to myself. Why would she give the room that I paid for to a group of three guys who hadn't even paid?!

Anyway, the lady's evil munchkin friend called the boys to let them know about the change. Apparently, they started to complain about the house and said that they didn't want to pay to stay there. As a result, the evil munchkin stormed out of her room in nothing but a towel, and threw all of their things into the driveway as she cursed them out over the phone. From what I could gather, the boys attempted to rectify the situation but evil naked munchkin told them that they were no longer welcome.

After the extremely uncomfortable confrontation, my friends and I moved into the much bigger room that we should have had in the first place. After that, the house was more like a Jersey Shore hostel than a Hamptons summer house. On our second day, four annoying drunken girls arrived. A few hours later, three Pauly D look-a-likes and a blonde version of Snooky showed up at our barbeque. They said they were the neighbors but later confessed that they were also staying at the house. I was a bit confused because there was no space for them.

Later, I walked into the living room to find an erected tent where one of the Pauly Ds and blonde Snooky were getting busy as the other two Pauly Ds passed out on the two couches. Appalled, my friends and I packed up and left a day early.

Did I mention that the shower door was broken and I had to yell to my friends to help open it? It took three of us to pry the door off the hinges as I stood there wet and naked... good times!

We all agreed: Next time we're renting the entire house! No more house shares!!!!