Rachel in The City

After a week or so of Blackberry instant messaging, I met POF #9 at a local pub on the Upper East Side to watch Monday Night Football. We drank a beer as we chatted about the game, roommates, work, prior POF dates and other light subjects that are normally discussed between two people that have just met. He was friendly, funny, and HUGE-- 6'4" and at least 250lbs. He wasn't fat- just BIG! He was kind of cute actually. He was clean-cut, had short blond hair, blue eyes, nice smile, good teeth a...

After Douchebag McDouche stole my security deposit and refused to let me move into the apartment that I paid for, I became homeless. I moped aimlessly around the streets of New York City, wondering if anyone could tell that I was one of "them". Since I was still able to shower and wear designer sunglasses, I'm sure that no one suspected.

I actually felt somewhat bad (but not really) when one unsuspecting college student targeted me to lecture about sponsoring a child in Fuckifiknowland. "It's ...

I've always considered myself to be feminine. I wear dresses, lipgloss, and high heels. I flirt with boys, show off my curves and walk with my hips. I'm a total babe! ...at least I thought so until last night. I was hanging out with my friend Sweet P, when she shared a story about her one and only lesbian kiss that she shared with her sorority sister during college. My straight friend (who oddly joined a lesbian sorority at her university) clarified that if she were gay, she would prefer to b...

After a series of disappointments in NYC, I've decided to travel and get some clarity. First stop: LA! My long-time friend picked me up at LAX and welcomed me to the City of Angels. Though I hadn't slept more than three hours, my friend already had the whole day planned! First, we did a little shopping. Actually, she did some shopping while my broke-ass watched. Next, we went to Venice Beach to people-watch. The scent of marijuana permeated the promenade as homeless-looking people held up sig...

After weeks of hiatus, I've decided to come out of hiding. I unpublished my blog because some douchebag scammed me for a chunk of my net worth and now I'm suing him. I've been busy playing detective and looking for a cardboard box to make my home. However, I've missed making fun of myself, bad dates, and crazy people. So, I'm back. Plus, I must tell you about this huge douche bag and my subsequent homelessness as a result of his douchieness. Hopefully my sob story will inspire you to donate t...

Last night, I couldn't sleep and was awake until after 4am. Nonetheless, I woke up this morning around 9am, slammed a double espresso, cranked out a grad school application, sold some furniture, went to a dance class, helped with a film casting, and squeezed in a late dinner with POF #8. Although I had planned on going home to freshen up before my date, I was already three hours behind schedule and too exhausted to make a fuss. Plus, we both happened to be in the same part of town. Despite th...

I've come to the point that I don't care about what I look like when I go on a blind date because chances are, my date will be a 3 (on a scale of 1-10). So on my most recent date, I did not brush my teeth, and wore comfy flat boots that did not match my dress at all.

In addition to minimal effort in appearance, I am also beginning to realize that I can say anything I want about myself, as long as I mention that I am a dancer. The dance factor seems to negate everything else, including smelly ...