POF #8 1/2: Desperado
Posted by Rachel S. on Friday, December 17, 2010
Under: The POF Experiment
Although I never actually met Desperado, he consumed enough of my time and energy to merit a blog. I can't really consider him a date since we never met, so I'm only giving him a 1/2 number.
It began innocent enough, a few short messages via the POF website. We exchanged e-mails and arranged to meet at his alma mater, Columbia University. He offered to give me a campus tour, which seemed like fun since I'd never been. Although I had to cancel our initial date, we rescheduled for the following day. Shortly before I was to leave, I received an odd series of e-mails that promted me to cancel the date, and name POF #8 1/2 "Desperado" because of his apparent desperation to find a girlfriend.
Desperado: What's goal in meeting me? Why do I intrigue you? As for me, I have an uber-full life, but I never did this, and so I thought I should try it, you seem intriguing , and I liked your acrobatic pic :-)
I did post a pic of me doing trapeze, but found it odd that he assumed that I was "intrigued" by him. I replied: LOL. It passes the time. I like meeting new people. I'm fairly new to the city so it's a good way for me to see it. For example, I've never been to Columbia campus!
Desperado: Hmmm...Well, just so you know we're on the same page: I'm too much of a romantic to meet a random girl so that I could fill her time and play tour guide. Between managing a hedge fund, serving on the Columbia admissions committee, being a good uncle, and attending and volunteering at charity events etc etc my hands are pretty full. But I am a hopeless romantic. :-) So, if you feel the same, cool. I wouldn't meet you if you had no intentions of meeting again or are so busy that you wouldn't have time to meet again for weeks. My gut is that from the way you sounded, you seem to be moving too quick to smell the flowers. It almost undermines all the business. What's the pt if one is living such a crazy rushed life that they have no time to notice a gem, and pik it up and enjoy it?
Me: Sorry if I'm not planning our wedding but I had no idea that u hold such high expectations for someone you've never met. I go into things with an open mind and without expectations. I only arrange to meet people that seem interesting and reject the other 90%. I wouldn't consider any of my dates a waste of time just because I wasn't interested in dating any of them. And I think it's funny that you say I'm too busy to smell the roses after describing YOUR hectic schedule. Your resume is quite impressive but you may need to work on your social skills; insulting potential dates will not get you very far. You're already making assumptions about my intentions and lifestyle and you have it all wrong. I'm busy because I'm moving and was going to fit you into my schedule but don't want to waste my time with someone who is so quick to judge and has untrealistic expectations. Good Luck.
I thought that would be the end of it. But, Desperado replied: Can you chat a second? Whatvr happens, I just hate this notion of bad karma. Its not pleasant, Regardless of whether we meet or not.
Oy vey! This guy is high maintenance! I called him to let him know that there were no hard feelings and to wish him luck. Little did I know that this brief 30-second chat would turn into a 25-minute interview. Desperado proceeded to ask me about my family, ex-boyfriends, and other personal information that I did not care to share with a stranger. At this point, we should be discussing favorite colors and pets. After my interview, he decided he wanted to hire me for the girlfriend position. I was perplexed that he thought I would be remotely interested in him.
Then he blew it again with the dreaded question that women over 30 HATE! "Why are you single?"
Although I'm sure he meant it as a compliment, I found it insulting because this question implies that I should be married or have a boyfriend. I find it unfair that a man my age can be single without judgment, while single women over 30 are pitied and thought to be flawed. When I could take it no longer, I lied and said that I had to go, and wished him luck. Before we hung up, he said that he would love to meet me if I was still interested. "I'll call you tomorrow," I lied.
POF #8.5: HUGE FAIL!!!
It began innocent enough, a few short messages via the POF website. We exchanged e-mails and arranged to meet at his alma mater, Columbia University. He offered to give me a campus tour, which seemed like fun since I'd never been. Although I had to cancel our initial date, we rescheduled for the following day. Shortly before I was to leave, I received an odd series of e-mails that promted me to cancel the date, and name POF #8 1/2 "Desperado" because of his apparent desperation to find a girlfriend.
Desperado: What's goal in meeting me? Why do I intrigue you? As for me, I have an uber-full life, but I never did this, and so I thought I should try it, you seem intriguing , and I liked your acrobatic pic :-)
I did post a pic of me doing trapeze, but found it odd that he assumed that I was "intrigued" by him. I replied: LOL. It passes the time. I like meeting new people. I'm fairly new to the city so it's a good way for me to see it. For example, I've never been to Columbia campus!
Desperado: Hmmm...Well, just so you know we're on the same page: I'm too much of a romantic to meet a random girl so that I could fill her time and play tour guide. Between managing a hedge fund, serving on the Columbia admissions committee, being a good uncle, and attending and volunteering at charity events etc etc my hands are pretty full. But I am a hopeless romantic. :-) So, if you feel the same, cool. I wouldn't meet you if you had no intentions of meeting again or are so busy that you wouldn't have time to meet again for weeks. My gut is that from the way you sounded, you seem to be moving too quick to smell the flowers. It almost undermines all the business. What's the pt if one is living such a crazy rushed life that they have no time to notice a gem, and pik it up and enjoy it?
Me: Sorry if I'm not planning our wedding but I had no idea that u hold such high expectations for someone you've never met. I go into things with an open mind and without expectations. I only arrange to meet people that seem interesting and reject the other 90%. I wouldn't consider any of my dates a waste of time just because I wasn't interested in dating any of them. And I think it's funny that you say I'm too busy to smell the roses after describing YOUR hectic schedule. Your resume is quite impressive but you may need to work on your social skills; insulting potential dates will not get you very far. You're already making assumptions about my intentions and lifestyle and you have it all wrong. I'm busy because I'm moving and was going to fit you into my schedule but don't want to waste my time with someone who is so quick to judge and has untrealistic expectations. Good Luck.
I thought that would be the end of it. But, Desperado replied: Can you chat a second? Whatvr happens, I just hate this notion of bad karma. Its not pleasant, Regardless of whether we meet or not.
Oy vey! This guy is high maintenance! I called him to let him know that there were no hard feelings and to wish him luck. Little did I know that this brief 30-second chat would turn into a 25-minute interview. Desperado proceeded to ask me about my family, ex-boyfriends, and other personal information that I did not care to share with a stranger. At this point, we should be discussing favorite colors and pets. After my interview, he decided he wanted to hire me for the girlfriend position. I was perplexed that he thought I would be remotely interested in him.
Then he blew it again with the dreaded question that women over 30 HATE! "Why are you single?"
Although I'm sure he meant it as a compliment, I found it insulting because this question implies that I should be married or have a boyfriend. I find it unfair that a man my age can be single without judgment, while single women over 30 are pitied and thought to be flawed. When I could take it no longer, I lied and said that I had to go, and wished him luck. Before we hung up, he said that he would love to meet me if I was still interested. "I'll call you tomorrow," I lied.
POF #8.5: HUGE FAIL!!!
In : The POF Experiment