It finally happened: the blowout between me and Crazy. Screaming, in-your-face battle of the century... okay maybe not THAT big. But, It's only been two weeks since we became roommates; I don't think I'll make it two months with this lunatic. 

The night before our blowout, I came home with my sane roommate, Cool Guy, after a nice night of delicious halal cart dining. We found Crazy in a stoned and drunken state with yet another new male guest. I struck up a conversation with him as Cool Guy distracted Crazy with random conversation. Turns out, the guest thought Crazy was crazy too! What a surprise! 

Not much later, the guest left and we all started getting ready for bed. Cool Guy and I were chatting in his room and came out to the kitchen to find Crazy eating my cashew chicken and rice that was to be tomorrow's lunch. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit. But earlier that day, she had lectured me for an hour because I took a piece of her Double Bubble Gum. What an f-ing hypocrite! I can't take a piece of gum without the wrath of Crazy, but she will take my entire meal! I went to bed annoyed with her, as usual. 

When I woke up the next morning, the kitchen was completely trashed and wreaked of tuna! I nearly threw up as I cleaned her nasty mess. Since I knew I wouldn't have cashew chicken for lunch, I pulled out the pasta I had cooked the day before. Apparently, Crazy is a very hungry girl when she's f**ked up, because half of my pasta was gone too. There were fork imprints and some cashew chicken rice pieces in there too. "Whatever," I thought as I sauced up the rest of the pasta. I ate what I wanted, and put the rest back in the tupperware and in the fridge.

At around 5pm, Crazy finally woke up and scolded me for putting sauce in her tupperware container. She continued that she didn't want to share her tupperware. I told her that I was pissed at her for the mess she had made. "There are other things too that I don't want to get into right now (like the fact that I was caring for her dog because she goes on three day coke binges, and then sleeps for two days straight)," I told her as I left to take a much-needed run to release the massive cancer of stress that was spreading throughout my entire body. Though somewhat helpful, I needed a yoga class for further release. 

Feeling somewhat better, I still tried to avoid Crazy for the rest of the day. But when Cool Guy got home, I let it out. I think that I was subconsciously waiting for him to come back to the apartment because I wanted a witness. I don't need to give you a play-by-play but she basically denied all of her faults, called the mess "an isolated incident" and even tried to blame me. She began screaming like a lunatic and I barked back. If this crazy bitch thinks I'm some pushover girl from the midwest, she's sadly mistaken. She was talking screaming in circles and I just wanted to end it. "Let's just all agree to be more conscientious about picking up after ourselves," I conceded. When she wouldn't let it go, I just stormed away and slammed my door. I wanted to pull out her frizzy, ginger hair. But I went to the park and listened to music instead.  

The next day, I cleaned up her mess...again. I know that she will never make any effort to be a considerate, responsible adult. So, I've spent the last two days with my friend on the Upper East Side and have had the best time since my move. As far as going back to living with Crazy, I honestly don't know how much longer it's gona last! One of us has to go- and it ain't gona be me! (Snap!)